It was a bright Sunny morning in Bangalore, India’s IT hub. We were rushing to our institute. Ash, Uma, Cathy and myself….. Man, those days…. Golden days… despite the politics on the campus, angry faces in the hostel room, sad mess food and tight student finances!!! 🙂
We counted every penny before spending….. some counted a lot and some a little less. We thought twice before buying a samosa chat and thrice before getting into an autorickshaw!! We wud negotiate with the auto guy for ten minutes for a 5 minute ride. And if we were too stingy….. we wud just walk back to hostel. He he. Fun days…. I must say!!!
It was one such day. We had finished college and too tired to walk back to hostel and so we took a rick. Somewhere in the mess of finding a rick, I pulled out my wallet and dropped it accidentally and never realized it until I got to room no 18 ( our hostel room number). The moment I realized it, I fled back to our campus…..with a hope to find my wallet. My wallet had everything in it…… my food, my commutation, my general expenses, my money……. My DEBIT CARD!!!!
The next couple of days I managed by borrowing from friends etc:- A week later my cousin who lived in Bangalore helped me out….. And then, my mom sent me some money thru a family friend…. I was getting impatient…. It had been more than a month now since we asked for a replacement of the debit card. No intimation whatsoever. Then after a week I got the Debit Card but had to wait for the new pin number. My frustration levels were rising…. And day after day things got difficult, did not want to borrow, but had to…. All that was in my mind was my Debit Card…. Could not concentrate on studying for my semester exams….. all that I could think of was that I was just a dependent human being….. could not sleep well…. Could not do anything…. I remember that night clearly…. I was depressed to the core.
The next morning I had my most important paper to write. Could not study a word…. I was just too blank to read a sentence. After I got back from the exam, I remember sitting on my bed, leaning against my wall and bursting out into tears. I mean nobody could control me….. I cried and I cried and I cried….. I don’t think I have ever cried like that for anything…. I was just frustrated of borrowing and came to the end of the rope. I remember asking God, “Lord, Why? Why? Are you trying to teach me the value of money?” After an hour or so…. I quieted down…. I had no energy left to cry…. I had no sense of what was going on around me…. My mind was blank and I was simply famished. I was still leaning on my wall….. I tried to go to sleep, but just was not able to… I was gasping for breath, I had cried so much. I was still talking to God…. “Lord, Why?”
My friends had all gone off to their beds to catch some sleep to start preparing for the next days paper. Our room was dark…. Lights all switched off… It was a very still and a quiet moment. I heard a voice…. I can say that it was an audible voice… but hard to explain…. And it still lingers in my ears… The voice simply said, “The LORD will provide”.
I have no clue what happened after that moment. I was flooded with a peace that I cannot explain… and then, I just passed out….. I woke up after 2 hours I think, totally refreshed and the voice was still lingering in my ears. “The LORD will provide”. It was not a long wait after that. The very next day, my Mom called me and told me to take down the pin number of the new debit card.
Today when I look back at the incident, I guess the one thing that I have learnt for certain is that God is so much nearer than we often think!!! And He is NOT a silent observer. The moment He sees our tears and heartaches, His heart is moved with compassion. Looking at the incident, there was no need for God to have spoken to me in that moment. I would have got the new pin number the next day, anyways. But His heart is moved when He sees our tears and as the Bible promises,
“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him”. Psalm 103:13
If you are an agnostic who thinks that God is a ‘concept’ created by men…. I’ve got something to tell you….God is real. He is so real!!! God is so real and Jesus indeed lives!!!
He lives, He lives,
Christ Jesus lives today!
He walks with me and talks with me
Along life’s narrow way.
He lives, He lives,
Salvation to impart!
You ask me how I know He lives?
He lives within my heart.
– Alfred H Ackley, 1933
Have a blessed day!!!