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God is good: Testimony Tuesday

Testimony by Mrs Celina Selvam.

This Testimony is from my dear friend and relative whose faith has been such an inspiration to me in my journey with the Lord. This Testimony has been Work-in-progress for about 5 years and finally Akka was able to finish it. I’m posting it here for my readers. Read on, you will be blessed!

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, “says the Lord”, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

This was the promise that God promise gave me on March 14th, 2014 exactly a month before I could conceive Jeremiah (Our 5 yr old). I was waiting in my gynecologist’s office that morning, totally frustrated, hopeless and dejected after 10 long years of waiting, disappointment and fertility treatments. The office was empty since I was the first person present. I closed my eyes and framed these words in my mind, “Lord won’t you give me one more child, am I not worthy enough to have one more baby?” It was at this moment that my phone rang and someone sent me an email.

I’m not great at checking emails promptly, but that day it’s definitely God’s will and I opened the first thing I saw was this verse from Jeremiah 29:11. I hungrily held this promise close to my heart and one more time with all my faith. [Just the size of a mustard seed]. I closed my eyes and prayed, “God beggars can’t be choosers, I am not going to ask for a girl baby. We already have a boy [Joshua our first born is 15 years old] but if it’s your will, if you let us have one more boy, we will definitely name him Jeremiah.

That month also the treatment was not fruitful but God held me closer to him and made my heart happy so that without any doubt I was able to cling to his promise and continue with the treatment. The next month I conceived Jeremiah.

From the very first day, I was bleeding profusely. This caused fear and doubts in my heart [thats what the evil one will do]. I forgot all the promises and fear gripped me. Finally, when I was 15 weeks pregnant, I had to undergo a blood work and that day we also had a gender scan.

After doing all that, we came home and in a few hours the nurse called us and gave us the worst news possible. She said our baby has trisomy 18 and that it cannot survive. So rather than wasting time it will be wise to get rid of the baby from my womb. I felt shattered as any normal human mother would do. I gave the phone to my husband and ran into the bedroom. I only remember kneeling down and crying for a few seconds.

Suddenly like a slide show all the promises that God gave me came infront of my eyes, my tears dried and disappeared on its own. God renewed my spirits within me. Just the way Hannah ceased to worry after leaving her burden under God’s foot, I too felt lite and happy, filled completely with his joy. This is no power of mine because, “His strength is made perfect in our weakness”. After that, I asked only for one thing. I said, “God I am ready to believe without seeing but to carry and deliver this baby I need my husband’s support. Amen”. By then my husband was alone talking with the nurse, who wanted us to go to the hospital on Monday for the final procedure.

I could see the fear in my husband’s tear filled eyes. I cried one last time and said “He is our baby and we have named him already”. At this time God gave him the strength to say “Whatever it is, he is our baby let us have him”. It was enough for me at that time. I didn’t even shed one drop of tear after that. That very same day God made me give testimony in our Tamil fellowship meeting and again the following Sunday in our church. He made me repeat the same in our church service as well.
He put words in my mouth and made me say, [I didn’t pre-meditate a single word]. This is not a prayer request but a thanks giving testimony. The reports say my baby has trisomy 18 and will not come out alive but my God is a faithful to his promises, “I am carrying a whole healthy baby and am going to deliver the same”.
I had to visit the hospital as frequently as 3 to 4 times a week. Every time, new technicians and doctors in the scan room or some were there will ask me innumerable questions about my decision. God put the spin of cheerfulness in my heart and I was full of laughter and smiles always. Some of them even thought I am a pathetic illiterate woman who can’t understand English. But when God makes me speak & explain they would quietly go away.

After this, twice I heard my husband say “Whatever it is, he is our baby and we have decided to have him “. But our good Lord gave me the Strength again to stop him and say, “I am, carrying a wholly healthy and healed baby.”
Our good Lord who is so faithful to his promises, even though I am a broken vessel and totally unworthy of his mercies. He mercifully strengthened me through his promises each day. He kept giving me promises to reassure me. He gave me Jeremiah 1:5 as a reassurance. I could feel Gods presence at all times. He held me in his mighty arms and carried me along so that I didn’t have to walk on the rocky road. All I did was happily rest on His promises. Jeremiah 1:5 says, “He knows us even before we were formed”. That’s exactly what he did. He made me name my baby even before I could conceive him.

On December 6 2014 to everybody’s surprise, God blessed us with our whole healthy & healed baby Jeremiah. We serve an awesome God, the maker of the Heaven and the universe. Nothing is too difficult for him.

All praise be to my Savior and friend, Jesus alone, always!

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