Bitter with God?

Sometimes, don’t we feel like God is indifferent to our prayers? We feel like He doesn’t really care, coz everything remains the same after much prayer! Recently I was on that road, and it pushed me to a point where I feared getting bitter with God. I did’nt want to get bitter…. coz Without Jesus, my life would be empty and devoid of the slightest of meaning and purpose. But my unanswered prayer was pushing me there, I feared!!!

I was talking to a friend on Saturday. She had lost her father when she was a teenager. And she told me how for the next five years she was angry… angry with God. Philosophers say, “When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade with them”. Hm…. yeah right. If only pain can be just hushed away!! Pain is real. Absolutely real. And there is none on earth who escape the horrific trials of life. Whether we know God and acknowledge God, or simply refuse to accept His existence, Pain is real to ALL.

I love our Church. My friends at church are loving and truly the Christian spirit can be seen there for sure. Last Sunday was awesome. After singing in the choir I quietly walked and sat next to my husband. I wasn’t quiet listening to the sermon. My mind was wandering. I was getting angry with God, coz He was silent to my prayers. We were seated in the last row. During the service I prayed, “God, I’m scared I’m going to get bitter with you…. I don’t want to. Give me grace to understand You.”

One row before ours, were seated a father and a son. Now and then during the sermon I glanced at them, coz my mind was wandering anyway!!! The little boy was with his dad, kissing him and hugging him and just snuggled with his dad. He must have been 4 or 5 years old. And the dad just kept his son in his arms all through the service. Towards the end of the service, the dad handed over the son to his mom and walked towards the door to go outside. The boy began crying. Not so loudly …. but quietly… His eyes started tearing up…. and his eyes kept looking longingly at his dad. And his dad stopped, turned around and motioned with his hand for his son to come. The boy ran with such glee and held his daddy’s hand and they both walked away.

The Lord spoke to me right then. “That’s your daddy too. How can I see you crying and not answer your plea?” My heart was overwhelmed with the love of God…. With the love of our daddy God!!!

Our daddy God loves us. His heart is moved with compassion for us. AS I always say, It is humanly impossible to understand why God allows certain pain in our lives. But even though we walk through the valley of shadow of death, BE ASSURED…. God is with YOU right there. And Jesus says,

 “….I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Genesis 28:15

God promises Joy for those who weep, and comfort to all those who mourn. Though God’s answers may be delayed….. IT WILL SURELY COME. THAT’S the God we serve. Glory to the KING of all earthly Kings and the LORD of all earthly lords.

Blessed be the name of Jesus!

Pic below: My pastor and his wonderful wife,  Dwight and Sherry  Blankenship. Sherry is fantabulous at the piano, I must add!!!! 🙂 I simply love watching her play at choir practice sessions!!!! 🙂

Have a fabulous month ahead!!!

About Varna Jeevagarajan

Hi there, I'm Varna Jeevagarajan. Originally from Chennai, but currently living in Saint Louis, US. Have been married to Tagore Jeevagarajan and blessed with two precious kids!!! Well, to say a little about myself.... I adore Jesus. And I enjoy writing! Put both together, and you get a blog that talks about my experiences with the Lord Jesus. I enjoy music and singing as well. And God has been gracious and enabled me to come out with an album called 'kanden'. I truly believe that every talent, small or great, ought to be used for magnifying and exalting His name and drawing the ends of the Earth to His throne!!! My blog and my musical talents are my little contributions!!! Hope that my music and my blog will bring Joy and Hope to your heart and bless your soul!!! Thanks for visiting, Varna Jeevagarajan
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2 Responses to Bitter with God?

  1. Sherrill says:

    That was awesome Varrr!!! I pray God changes our hearts of bitterness into hearts of seeking Him more n understanding Him right there in the toughest situations of our life. He’s sooo loving!

  2. Amen! Amen! Sherrill…. !!! 🙂

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