Most women have a role model. Maybe it’s their mom, a celebrity woman or an aunt or a historical figure. For me, hands down it would be my Athai ( my mother-in-Law. )

I have known athai for 18 years and the lessons she has taught me “without words”, are innumerable.

I have often stood in the kitchen and when there is something troubling my mind, I immediately tend to recall my MIL. The amount of tears that she has had to endure can’t be put in words. But, she endured!

Athais MIL was very unkind and treated her with utmost detest. When Athai was expecting her second son ( Jeev ) and was in acute labor, her MIL made sure she made the chutney for the nights dinner. She didn’t care that she was in pain. All that night, athai was in writhing in pain, crying out to God. She couldn’t go to the hospital because her husband ( my Mama ) had night duty, that night.

In the morning when mama ( Dad-in-Law ) came, he saw that she had started bleeding and rushed her to the hospital. As soon as she got on to the bed, she delivered a beautiful baby boy! My dear precious husband, Jeev!

The doctors yelled at my father-in-law and asked him if he was really educated and why he had not brought her in earlier. I do not know what he replied. The drama doesn’t end there. After hearing that the baby had been born, my Athai’s MIL walked into the room to see the baby. As soon as she saw that it was a boy, she walked out of the room angrily because it wasn’t a girl baby. She was hoping it would have been a girl baby, but was disappointed when the baby was a boy. Athai has shared that she endured all this physical and emotional pain all by herself, alone in the hospital.

For the next couple of years, the grandma would not even carry or interact with Jeev. Reason – because the baby wasn’t a girl baby!!

I have had several conversations with my Mother-in-Law. In fact I won’t be wrong to say that I was shaped in character more after marriage than before marriage. Athai always made sure she shared her experiences with me and Aarthi akka ( her two daughter-in-laws ). Not because she wanted us to know her painful past, but to teach us to be resilient women.

She always said “Oru pennukku sagippu thanmai Romba mukkiyam.” ( A woman needs a lot of forbearance) She always said that the woman is the one who makes or breaks relationships and we must always be BUILDERS of relationships!

She embodies it till today. She takes everything lightly resting fully on the grace of God. I have never heard athai speak anything negative or even complain!!! She is extremely hard working even at the age of 80!!!

One thing that has often left me stunned is this : Inspite of the mean ways that Athai was treated by her mother-in-law, Athai served her with her whole heart until her MIL passed away. When no one came into the hospital room ( her MIL was admitted in the hospital due to a sickness ) to clean the room because of the unbearably bad odor, athai went into the room to clean it up. To me, she served with the heart of Christ.

These life stories that athai has shared has shaped my mindset greatly. I often look at women of today and wonder within myself that at the silliest of reasons they break relationships!! I have often resolved in my mind that I should NEVER do that! We must always be someone who will make peace and build relationships because breaking a relationship takes 2 minutes, while building one ,takes a lifetime!!!

Thankful for Athai! ♥️

Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃🍁